wierd week

Hi everyone!

This has been a weird week in that I have not had around the foods I prefer to eat, the things that have made the eating plan easy- things like turkey breast or chicken breast. I just ran out and haven't made the time to get to the store (we buy turkey from Costco because we buy so much of it- that's a totally different shopping excursion) and I haven't made the time to cook the chicken breasts. Also, Rhonda and I went wine tasting (something we love to do, but it's a huge calorie punch). I didn't want to feel like I couldn't make the wine tasting work, so we went. We were going to be in the Lodi area to shoot some pictures of a friend's farm and how can you not go wine tasting when you're that close to amazing Zinfandel wineries? How, I ask you?

And on top of that I found some fairly deeply ingrained mental structures that run my choices. Rhonda and I went to the mission neighborhood to grab some quick dinner before her boxing class and my choir rehearsal. I was going to get tacos and she wanted a burrito. She ordered her burrito and then saw a sign for 2 for 1 on the burritos that day and she said I should order one so my dinner would be free. I noticed later that I felt very flustered, didn't want to hold up the line, and suddenly felt very poor. So I ordered a burrito- much more food than I had wanted to order and yet I felt the need to order it. And over the course of the rehearsal I ate the whole thing. I don't know if I actually felt hungry or if I thought I felt hungry because it was there.

And tonight is the Texas Party, a party some friends and I put on every so often. We're all from Texas and get homesick and want to just get together and celebrate the good parts of Texas. So we'll have a chili cook-off and spoonbread, cornbread, tacos, line dancing, a trivia game, and who knows what else. We have a good number of people coming this year and I'm excited for it. But clearly there will be a lot of good food that I will have to control myself around. Bad situation to be in the middle of this week after all the other high calorie situations.

Well, I increased my exercise a bit this week because of the extra calories eaten. I hope I haven't exercised too much. But I've been very conscious lately about trying to spread that exercise over the day to boost the metabolism all day long. I do some weights in the morning, and cardio all over the rest of the day by walking different places, biking places.

I guess in the end all I can do is get myself back on track and see what happens on the scales! I have to go get the foods I need to have around and be prepared like I had been before and just do the things I know work. It's really that simple. I'm not down on myself for this last week. I really wanted to go wine tasting and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Mentally I think that was worth it. So now I get to get back on track.

I hope you're well!

this week

Hello Everyone!

This was the first week where I planned a whole bunch of cardio and a bunch of it didn't happen. Monday I did my workout at my gym (Mike was away at San Diego pride this last weekend). I thought about doing cardio Monday, but then thought no- Rhonda and I would be going down to a friend's farm on Tuesday and I really thought we'd be picking vegetables. Picking actually burns more calories than you'd think! We went berry picking on Saturday and that burned about 645 calories in 2 hours. So I thought I would wait and do cardio on Tuesday at the farm.

Well, we didn't pick anything. He just showed us around the farm, which was great, but not a workout. When I got home, though, I was so tired (it had been 90 degrees all day, very hot for me) I almost fell asleep 2x before I finally decided to just give it up and go to sleep.

Then I did my second weight workout Wednesday morning and thought that night I would walk home from working at the lab. But Rhonda showed up and told me there would be a birthday party for her mom that evening and asked if I wanted to go with her from work. So no cardio again. And on top of that, a very small piece of cake and 2 chicken strips.

So I was feeling fat, didn't sleep much and then had to go do a workout with Mike the next day. I was sluggish during the workout and don't know if that was just the sleep or a mixture of the sleep and bad food the night before.

But I finally got in some cardio! I used the arc trainer for the first time in a loooong time. I've been doing so much walking downtown to classes and walking home from the gym or classes, and now swimming too, that I haven't used a cardio machine in a long time. I wonder if there is a difference in the quality of the cardio workout when it's a machine workout or a walk or a swim...

This morning I swam for 30 min and I'll walk home from work and then I'll just have one more cardio workout to do this week. Mike said that being this far in and this being the first week where life got in the way of workouts was actually really good. Not a bad record.

So Rhonda and I are trying to switch over to organic meats to go along with our organic fruits and vegetables. In order to do that We re having to find some organic lunch meats or at least free range, grass fed. That's harder than you would think. We have tried a few organic turkey slices and they have a weird texture or weird taste (and it's not that, "Oh wait! This is what meat's supposed to taste like!" weirdness, it's just funky). So we're looking for maybe a meat CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) or to find some organic turkey breasts to cook and then slice (also harder to find than you'd think).

Going to the farm was part of trying to really be aware of where our food comes from, who has contact with it, how is it grown and harvested. We have known this farmer, Richard, for a couple years now. We see him almost every Saturday, unless we're out of town. We chat with him and but organic vegetables and fruit from him. He introduces us to things we've never tried before, like Purslane (really good if you can find it) and lemon cucumbers. Seeing his farm and really having an idea of what growing requires, what a small, family farm looks like, and such, gave me a different level of respect for what our farmers bring each week.

Okay, that's all for now. Talk to you again soon!

wow! been away too long!

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while!

I've been keeping up with the nutrition and the workouts and am still going at it. No change there! I am at a total of 33 pounds lost now. Yay!

I have been reduced to 1600 calories a day and am still on the average of 400 calories/day of exercise. I've started trying some different types of exercise, like swimming. I always really enjoyed swimming, but hated getting the inevitable sunburn. Lucky for me, though, the gym I belong to has a large indoor lap pool! That's a nice bonus. I have been using it, too.

I have to be careful about the swimming, though, because it's such a huge calorie burner. One hour of swimming can burn up to about 1200 calories. If I am going to do an hour I have to add calories to that day and take away calories from another so I don't get myself back into the same issue I was having when I started this whole thing- burning so many calories that I start going into starvation mode. I have to work hard to keep the balance I need to actually lose weight.

With that in mind, I usually do about half an hour of laps (which for me is about 18 laps). I mix it up so that it's breast stroke and freestyle (slow to moderate speed) and that burns about 500-600 calories. I am trying to do that once a week, twice if I have the time. It keeps things interesting.

I realized last week that I was nervous about the reduction to 1600 calories. I had been getting sloppy with the measurements of food, adding a bit here and there. It didn't feel like rebellion, but it was. I realized after a week of saving different types of calories for a July 4th barbeque, and then eating like a pig on the 4th, that I could eat a lot less than 1600, still do the same amount of exercise with no issue on less, and then eat like a pig and stay within the guidelines for the week. That was a good realization and I started being more careful for the rest of the week. I'm not nervous anymore about that.

I am, however, sore. The way that my body is reshaping itself i have needed to start sleeping with a pillow between my knees or else i wake up sore in the middle of the night. Well, I've realized that the pillow causes it's own soreness issues. And now I have to learn new types of stretches for the psoas and periformas muscles in order to relieve some of the soreness. it's wreaking havoc on my lower back right now and so I am doing daily stretches to help relieve that.

I had photos taken the first day I worked with Mike, the 'Before' photos. Monday I had more photos taken to see the progress so far, about 1/3 through. I have to say that I was disappointed with how little progress the photos show. I feel I've made a good amount of progress so far and the photos don't show it. I can see some little changes in the photos, but overall I still just see pretty much the same picture. But I have to remind myself that the outfit for the picture is not form fitting, it's not flattering, it's just a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Other outfits I have clearly show progress. I wore a shirt the other night that didn't fit at all when this started and now (it's form-fitting) it's big enough to look kinda sloppy. I'll have to photoshop the pictures together and post them on here. Maybe at the halfway point new pictures will show more progress.

That's all I can think of for the moment. I hope you're well!

lost another 2 Lbs! 19.6 pounds total so far.

So I met with Manuel today and I have lost another 2 pounds. That makes a total of 19.6 pounds down. Since things seem to be slowing down a bit he's reduced my calories to 1600 from 1800. He told me that if I need to eat a few more calories to do it, since I'm still losing at 1800. But to try to make it protein, like another ounce of chicken or whatever.

I told all this to Mike and he's going to talk to Manuel about whether he should increase my exercise. I hope not! I'm still getting exhausted with what he's got me doing right now and to try and do it on fewer calories has me a bit worried. I'm sure I would get used to it, but I kinda want a week or so to get used to dealing with just 1600 calories before I try to add in more exercise.

I asked Manuel some questions today. I had noticed that in all my computer work at the school my eyes had been getting tired at the beginning of the semester. But that once I increased the number of orange foods I'd been eating, like carrots and yams, the tiredness went away. I wanted to know other good foods for the eyes. He pointed me to his new website, www.nutritionforyou.com and it has nutrition blogs that answer all sorts of questions like that. I read a few and they were very helpful to me. Maybe they will be for you as well.

I also asked him about a day this week that I had exercised more than expected. I took a longer walk than I thought I was taing and ended up burning over 1000 calories that day. As I had understood it before he said that if I went over the 900 calories for the day in exercise that I was putting myself in too much stress and to borrow calories from another day. I asked him today if I had taken the right amount. He said because the exercise was one that I have a great deal of muscle memory for (walking) that it's not the same as trying a spin class or rock climbing or something like that. Those would add a different kind of stress and that's when I should borrow calories. He was happy with what I'd done anyway.

I also asked him about fish tacos. I really love fish tacos and I'm pretty sure that we'll be headed to the Flying Fish Cafe sometime soon, down in Half Moon Bay. I think we'll be berry picking in Pescadero sometime soon and we always like to stop off at the Flying Fish Cafe for a fish taco. I wondered how to gauge the fried fish. He said to make it a medium fat meat rather than the lean meat it is.

That's where I am today. If you have any questions please post them!

Thanks!

Kelley

Things are moving fast!

This is the end of the semester and things are moving so fast. A lot of work to finish fast.

I meet with Manuel tomorrow for a weigh in. Sometimes I feel really frustrated because I go back and forth between feeling like I'm losing weight and feeling like I'm not. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can see I look different, thinner, smaller. But I can still wear my same old clothes and they aren't looking over-sized or falling off yet. When will that happen? I'm not looking forward to wasting money on transitional clothes, but oh well.

I'm happy with the food I'm eating. I'm able to create combinations of things and able to eat out at restaurants enough. There are still things I need to figure out how to deal with, like Indian food. How do I deal with restaurants that are cooking things that I have no idea what's in it? I was surprised that the some of my favorite Indian recipes have cream in them. But I love those recipes and I will have to learn how to deal with it.

I'll write more tomorrow after my meeting.

Sorry it's been so long. weeks 7 & 8

hello! sorry I haven't posted in a couple weeks. Here's what's been going on since the last one.

I had another weigh-in with Manuel and have lost a total of 13.8 pounds, 12.8 of which have been pure fat. That's a lot of fat. He showed me a visual representation of that and it looked pretty gross. I was happy about it but was also a little sad that I hadn't lost more than that. I thought because of the way my clothes were fitting that I had lost more. I have to remember to not be so tied to numbers. The numbers aren't necessarily something that I will agree with or understand why they aren't what I wanted them to be. So if I can just let the numbers go I will be happier about it all.

I also talked with Manuel about the final numbers, where I want to be at the end. I had a little emotional thing there too, when he said that the 185 we had talked about before was where he thought I would end up. I never wanted to end at 185. I thought that was way too high. I thought I would end up at 130. He said I have too much muscle to end up there in a year. If I am at 22% body fat I will be at 165, again way higher than I had thought. Again I was tied to a number. I've been so set on getting my weight down to 130 (because that's where the national stats say someone of my height should be, somewhere between 125 and 140 I believe) that I have wanted to be there for years. I had no idea I had that much muscle on me. He said we could lose muscle eventually if I believe I have more than I want, but that we shouldn't lose it now of course because it helps burn fat.

I don't know if I want to lose the muscle. I've never wanted to be so thin that I looked like I could blow away in a light wind like some girls look. I want to be healthy. Health is my main goal. I had to remind myself that I don't even know what I'll look like at 165. I could really like that look. So I told myself to stop freaking out and wait till I get there to see what I actually think. That helped.

I have been incredibly stressed with payment for the classes I'm taking. I've been trying to upgrade my skills to move back into the field that I actually wanted to be in all along, film and photography. That's where my education lies. I just haven't been able to get the jobs I want. So here I am now, back in school, and my classes are supposed to be covered by the Workforce Investment Act. But trying to get the money from them has been a nightmare. And over the last 2 weeks, especially so. I have been going round and round with them about a check they were supposed to have already sent in to cover 2 classes, but it has never arrived and I've been scrambling trying to get them the information they've lost, contact the people that need to be contacted at the school to try and sit in the classes anyway till they're paid for, find who might be able to trace the check if it indeed did make it here (which I suspect it didn't), etc. I've been so stressed and so tired. I've had to be very conscious of not stress eating and not splurging on the things I would normally turn to in emotional eating (i.e. doughnuts, chocolate, cookies, etc).

I realized, though, that I started getting a little sloppy last week with my food. I started thinking, "Am I done yet?" I just wanted to be done with something, because I was too stressed, too overloaded with constantly trying to keep up with everything right now that I wanted to be done with anything, just get something off the plate. And so I got sloppy with the thing that was easiest to be sloppy with and would give me at least temporary instant gratification, food. I wasn't as concerned with amounts of things for the last few days. I didn't go crazy, thank God. I would have felt guilty if I had. But I wasn't as good as I had been. I ate more fat, didn't eat as much protein or fruits as I should have. But I stayed within my calories and I am not too far off as far as the weekly targets go for protein, fats and carbs.

But I started thinking about it yesterday morning, why was I being so sloppy? And how could I get myself out of it? I realized that this was just like any relationship, any commitment. You can't just say, "I'm going to do something!" one time and expect to feel that commitment for the rest of your life. Things that you care about have to be tended to continuously. And something like your health is a constant, daily commitment. So I recommitted yesterday morning. I told myself that I am still in this, and in it for the long haul. And I had a good day! I ate what I was supposed to eat. I found staying away from the pop-tarts in the vending machine easier, not that I didn't think about them. And the snickers bars. But I made the right choices. And I was happier for it.

And today is going well. I walked right past Beard Pappas, the eclair place (they're soooo good), and all the doughnut places on the way to school. And I'm having the food I need to eat, and that I enjoy.

And my exercise has been going well. I have been working with Mike 3 times a week. Next week he'll be doing a boot camp in Mexico. He and Billy will be doing a working vacation. So I will have next week's workouts on my own using the computer system to remind me of what exercises I'm supposed to do and what they look like, etc. Going to my own gym will save me a lot of time next week and I have to say, I'm excited about that.

I have been doing more walking to school over the last couple weeks, rather than going in to the gym to do just a cardio workout. I just haven't had the time and if I'm still burning the calories I need to burn I wasn't going to make myself crazy trying to fit in doing it at the gym if I didn't have. But I think that I will be able to get back to the more intense cardio on the machines next week. I do like the intensity of working on the machines, and the control of the workout. But I can't always get there and I still need to do something. So walking to the school is a good enough substitute.

But Mike is still kicking my butt. His workouts are pretty intense. I enjoy them, though. He targets muscles that I don't realize are being targeted till later in the day. He's sneaky like that. I'm definitely getting a workout and my clothes are definitely fitting differently, better. People are starting to notice that I'm losing weight. I'm not the only one that sees the difference. And that's nice.

Also! I just found out that Manuel is taking his nutrition business national. Congratulations to him! His system, which he's calling 'Nutrition for You!' will be available to anyone over the computer and by phone. That's really exciting. I know a lot of people who I hope will take advantage of this. I'd love to see them healthier.

Till next time- Bye!

week 6 post 1, 12 pounds down!

Hello All!

Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate everyone's encouragement.

This week had more ups and downs. I started off just trying to eat what I was supposed to eat. But there were 2 things I couldn't stop thinking about: 1. Cakes 2. Did I lose any weight?

I worked out with Mike 3 times and those went well, except for Thursday when I tried to do my cardio before I met with Mike. Trying that made the workout soooo much harder. Bad choice. When I was eating several thousand calories a fay that wasn't an issue. I always had extra energy then.

When I met with Manuel I found out I had lost a total of 12 lbs. That was exciting!

When I went home and told Rhonda, though, I started getting nervous. I wondered f I would be able to keep this up. What if that was all I lost? It wasn't till the next day that I started thinking about it and asked myself, "Has it been very hard so far? No, it hasn't. I just need to take it slowly and concentrate on today.